He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
