He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
