Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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