She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
