I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
