Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Semen is not good for contacts.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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