I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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