This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
