dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
