Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
