perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize