I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
