It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
