that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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