he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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