We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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