I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
