this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
