Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
