I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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