Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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