I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize