thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
