oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize