this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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