someone threw a dead crab at me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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