How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
