I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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