i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
