yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
