So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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