I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
