I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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