Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
