Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
