im drinking this country out of the recession.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
