Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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