Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Please, let me fuck your mom
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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