where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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