areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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