I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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