all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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