so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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