According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
