Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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