His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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