Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
