i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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