If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
