I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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