i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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