Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
