There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
