you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
