My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
