My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
