that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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