..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
