Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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