Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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