i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
