so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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