we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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