we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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