Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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