escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
