The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
