just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize