I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
