Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
