We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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