Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
