so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
