Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize