you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
this beer tastes like vomit already
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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