her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
