Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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