fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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