if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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